family

“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life.” - Albert Einstein

What’s your family like?

We’ve all got one. 

Here’s a task. 

Describe your family in three words. Only three.
The first three that come to mind. 

I’ll go start. 

…

Imaginative. Running. Huggy. 

Now your turn. 

Ready?

One, two, three… GO!

Families are complicatedly beautiful things. 

And here’s the facts. The truth. 

None of us chose our family of origin. We didn’t choose our parents. Or our siblings. We didn’t choose our kids. We may have chosen our spouses. If we were lucky. 

Family is thrust upon us.

Factory colours only. 

No options for the heated seats. 

And let’s be honest - family dynamics can often feel forced. Difficult. Challenging. I am the middle-child of seven. I know a thing or two about the volatility of personalities both big and small. Particularly when they clash. 

I’ve got a lot of challenges within my own family too! Yes - we are imaginative. And I know that ‘huggy’ isn’t a word. Whatever. It rings true. Our family is quite cuddly. You know, huggy! And while I love my kids to death, there are times that I am dumbfounded by their choices, actions, behaviours, and constant running. Seriously. My kids don’t walk anywhere. Run. Run. Jump. Running all the time. Parkour Parlour. That’s what we call our living room. Pillows on the floor. Cushions. Running. Shouting. 

I digress. 

I could have never anticipated the challenges of family life. The tantrums. Mouthiness. Friendship dynamics. School life. Spilled… everything. The constant messes. Lost socks. Financial stresses. The running. 

My day-to-day is far from the idyllic picture I once dreamt up oh-so-long-ago. 

But I wouldn’t change any of it.

My kids, wife, and family of origin - they have all shaped me. Moulded me. I’m bent. Flexed. Fixed. I would be a shadow of the person I am today without their influence and love. More, my family of families. Those other families, people, singles, marrieds, kids, youth, ‘olderly’ (as my kids say it). The family beyond my biological. They too have enmeshed me in love, kindness, support. I am deeply grateful for my family. 

This Einstein quote. Whoah. Who knew?!

I guess between solving the world’s most complicated math problems, Ol’ Albert had time to drop one of the most profound quotes on family of all time. 

‘Rejoice,’ Einstein says. Rejoice. 

Don’t bemoan. Don’t begrudge. Loathe and despise.

Rejoice. 

I very-much-doubt Einstein intended for us to ignore the pain, hurt, and trauma of family. Of course, there are many scenarios when the force-of-family is deeply destructive. Boundaries can be necessary. Working out pain or trauma is incredibly important. And necessary. 

I wonder - how can ‘we rejoice with our family’ in spite of the challenges, difficulties, pains?

It seems to me that Einstein’s challenge is more of an imperative than a glossy ideal.

Rejoice = an action = a choice. 

Rejoice - on purpose - with and for your family. 

See the beauty all around in this land with the other living beings who are woven in and through space and time with you.  

No small ask. 

Challenge accepted. 

This Thanksgiving, when it comes to family, I am going to take pause. 

I will rejoice on purpose by extending grace-upon-grace. 

I will rejoice on purpose by putting others before myself. 

I will rejoice on purpose in giving thanks for my family.

That includes you my friends.

My family.

May your family have a blessed and bountiful holiday. 

Happy Thanksgiving.