disruptive force

letter 0.7 - November 23/2021

“One day, we will all cherish the memory of having blacksmiths on every corner.” - George Singleton

I have a friend who is a blacksmith. A bending metal artist. He is talented and crafty. Patient. Brave. And very smart. He knows the science behind his art. The heat and force required to fuse metals together. He knows when and how to twist and strike to get the best results. Artistic vision carries his work. If he doesn’t have a specific tool to make his vision a reality - he “simply” makes one! A let’s-build-the-bridge-as-we-cross-it kind of creative. 

I admire his skills.

Past all of the hammering and heat, blacksmithing requires commitment. Granted all art requires commitment - but it’s different than painting or drawing or writing. You can’t just ‘wash your brushes and come back at it’. 

It takes time to heat the forge.

It takes time to prepare the materials.

It takes time to craft. 

Heating. Holding. Hitting. Heating. Hitting. Holding. Heating. Bending. 

Over and over and over again. 

Commitment is half of the art. 

This has been a bending metal sort of year for me. 

Heat. Hold. Hit. Bend. 

It started in the summer of 2020 when all indicators pointed to an inevitable job loss/transition. My intuition proved true. By the fall I felt I had to resign. Come February I was unemployed. For the first time in nearly a decade, I was without a job. Without a clear purpose. I was lost. Hurt. Confused. Displaced. I have spent months trying to sort it all out. ‘Feel all the feels.’ ‘Learn life’s lessons.’ ‘Be grateful for every day.’

And I have. 

Without a doubt this year has been tremendously formative. I have grown up. Matured. Gained perspective. And have begun to heal. 

But on reflection, I can’t see a way around the truth: the experience was incredibly disruptive. Unnecessary. Violent. Pain without purpose. A soul laid bare over a cold hard anvil. A hammering of humanity. 

I do not subscribe to the notion that ‘everything happens for a reason’ or that ‘God won’t give you more than you can handle’. Sometimes life isn’t fair. Sometimes bad things just happen. Sometimes people suck. Sometimes, I have learned, life is filled with violent disruptions. 

Divorce. Death. Job loss. Bankruptcy.

Children disappoint. Friends betray. Family lets us down. 

There aren’t good reasons. Life just happens. 

Heat. Hold. Hit. Bend. 

It is how I choose to respond that determines my outcome. 

I am learning to accept that despite external forces, I have agency.  

I am learning to not see enemies, but those I can forgive. 

I am learning that I am a piece of art, worthy of time, and craft, and commitment. 

My dreams and people and purpose are fused together. Forged in the heat of life. Hit and bent and twisted by disruptive force. And I can hold true and fast to the vision. 

I will not break. 

I will come out stronger. 

If I commit to whatever life gives, I will be bent and twisted and shaped into a beautiful work. 

A beautiful piece of art.

-amos