the floor is lava

‘3 ways to relearn to play’

letter.05 November 7/2021

‘Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.’ - Pablo Picasso

‘You’ve got five lives!’

That’s it. 

Five chances to outlast your competitor and avoid a horrid death-by-melting. 

Survive atop the couch! Or perish in the fiery doom! 

No pulling. No pushing. Feet and legs are fair game. 

And if a cushion falls off the couch - put it back!

Sound familiar?

We called it Bubbles. 

(Imagine popping-gurgling-bubbles bellow).

But this hallowed childhood-right-of-passage goes by other names. 

Grounders. Hot Lava. Melting Ground. Lava Monster. 

And of course:

The FLOOR IS LAVA!

The Floor is Lava is a simple game. All you need is a floor, some furniture, and imagination. When someone yells ‘the floor is lava!’ liquid molten magma gurgles underfoot and the whole floor becomes a melting lava flow! If you touch the ground… er, lava - you lose a life! House rules dictate what happens next - but basically, after you die (complete with screeching screams) you get to climb the couch mountain and start again!

The Floor is Lava is now a hit game show on Netflix. The show harkens back to the childhood game of the same name, leveraging nostalgia and all the feels. Genius (and bravo!) to whatever ‘kid’ pitched the idea to the producers! 

We used to play Bubbles all the time. 

It was fun. Easy. Our imaginations turned on like a switch. We’d wrestle and jostle on the couch. Feel the heat beneath our feet. Panic when pushed. Fear the death by fire and the sizzle of our skin. We’d fall. Scream. Laugh. Get in trouble. Put the cushions back. And do it all over again. 

To us it was real. It was fun. It was easy. Pure play. 

But what happens when play isn’t fun anymore? What happens when play isn’t easy? 

Worse, what happens if we’ve forgotten how to play altogether?!

For many of us adutling-adults this is the case.

We don’t play. 

We don’t remember how to play.  

Many of us have zero desire to play! 

You sad ol’ curmudgeons! 

Many of us wish to play but feel awkward or have forgotten the mechanics. We’ve got kids. Grandkids. Nephews and nieces. We want to jump in - we just don’t know how! 

If that’s you - here are three encouragements to guide you back to play! 

 1. LOOK & LISTEN

If you are asked to play - just say ‘sure!’. That’s it. Make eye contact, follow the child’s lead. They will guide you, give you jobs. Watch facial cues and vocal tones. Like - actually look, actually hear. I hazard to guess that the kid or teen who asked you to play will be both surprised and enamoured by your yes! You’re a boring adult remember. Too busy with work and seriousness. If you give an unquestioning yes - you will see truly happy grins and hear truly happy voices in reply.

2. FOLLOW - DON’T LEAD

Leave your adulting need to control at the imaginary door. Let the kids lead. Let the teen call the shots. It’s hard, I know. Your brain is developed. Their brains are not. BUT you are a guest in their imaginary world. Drink their tea - even if it’s water. Let them be Lebron - even if he’s your favourite (besides, he’s getting old). Let them show you around their universe. Take their lead and follow. And then watch their confidence grow with the seconds.  

3. FOR TEN MINUTES 

Let’s be real. Playing is hard. It’s a dormant muscle you’ve not used for… who knows how long! Don’t set the bar too high - just commit to ten minutes of play. That’s it. Just ten minutes. Look, listen, follow, and play. Don’t check your stocks or the score or Instagram. Don’t ‘story’ the experience with photos or videos. Put your phone away! Just play. For ten minutes. Take a breath. And maybe next time you’ll be ready for eleven. 

Our kids are growing up too fast. 

There is a crisis of childhood right in front of us.

Relearning to play is one way we can hold onto our kids. 

You can do it! 

I’ll help you start. 

Ready?

One. Two. Three. 

‘THE FLOOR IS LAVA!’  

-amos